Financial Detective Gifts

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

"Remember, 'accounting' and 'accountability': nothing in common."

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

Inexplicable accounts.

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'All right, I want to know who's responsible for our profits no longer being obscene!'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"84% of our losses are due to accounting errors!"

'A Policeman hey? My dad is a crime-fighter too: He's a Forensic Accountant...'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'We'd better schedule an autopsy audit.'

Arthur Andersen & Co found guilty of shredding important files during Enron investigation.

"So that's where all that money went! Well, I'd like to thank you, inspector, for finally allowing me to solve this mystery!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'You can't get blood from a turnip!'-'We'll never know till we try, now will we?'

'This can't be good!'

"I think we have a situation here -- the auditors closed with 'Ha Ha!'"

'When you do get ahold of him, find out where all the money went.'

"It's simple, but it works for us!"

The government can't get by on what you're making.

Auditing

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"We conducted a survey of 85% of tax experts and questioned them about 93% of the budget and found a 67% probability that none of them knew what they were talking about."

"I can't see how you can possibly extract any more out of me."

'We found an accountant for you last week to look after your petty cash. Now you're looking for both of them.'

"Want to play a little game of "Guess Their Tax Bracket?'"

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"How could this happen? I was a meticulous bookkeeper -- with both sets."

Top 100 Corrupt Rich List

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

"We need to discuss your expense account."