Financial Detective Pillows

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

"Remember, 'accounting' and 'accountability': nothing in common."

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

Inexplicable accounts.

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'All right, I want to know who's responsible for our profits no longer being obscene!'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'You can come in now - the auditors have gone.'

"84% of our losses are due to accounting errors!"

'A Policeman hey? My dad is a crime-fighter too: He's a Forensic Accountant...'

Arthur Andersen & Co found guilty of shredding important files during Enron investigation.

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'We'd better schedule an autopsy audit.'

'This can't be good!'

"The bad news is it's all our clients' money."

'You can't get blood from a turnip!'-'We'll never know till we try, now will we?'

"I think we have a situation here -- the auditors closed with 'Ha Ha!'"

"So that's where all that money went! Well, I'd like to thank you, inspector, for finally allowing me to solve this mystery!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'When you do get ahold of him, find out where all the money went.'

"It's simple, but it works for us!"

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

The government can't get by on what you're making.

Auditing

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"We conducted a survey of 85% of tax experts and questioned them about 93% of the budget and found a 67% probability that none of them knew what they were talking about."

Brexit 2016

"It was only when we received the psychiatric report after the company crashed, that we realised there was madness in his method."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"Want to play a little game of "Guess Their Tax Bracket?'"

"I can't see how you can possibly extract any more out of me."

'We found an accountant for you last week to look after your petty cash. Now you're looking for both of them.'

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'