Stock Market Detective Gifts

'Unfortunately, this, here, is still a mystery.'

"Today share prices fell sharply on the fear that share prices may fall sharply."

'We're picking up a strong emission from the third planet from the sun - something called the Dow Jones Average.'

'Stocks edged higher on the news Greenspan said investors are 'irrationally gloomy'.'

Insider knowledge weight heavily on his mind.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'Crisis'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

City Redundancies - In? Out?

IRS Audit Section

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

Portfolio, 2011

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

The United States' economy deflating.

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'