Market Detective Gifts

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

'Hello, is that Ace Stockbrokers?'

The United States' economy deflating.

Have you seen my money?

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

European currency on the edge.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Economy - USA.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

Customer Convention

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'