Profit Detectives Gifts

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Crisis'

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

IRS Audit Section

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Customer Convention

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

The United States' economy deflating.

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

Euro Bomb

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

Have you seen my money?

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'