Profit Detectives Prints

Corporate Accounting Dept. 5 2 7 8. Investors will be interested in this. We're going to release the numbers today.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

Customer Convention

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

IRS Audit Section

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

The United States' economy deflating.

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

Euro Bomb

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

Have you seen my money?