Profit Investigator Gifts

"Let's have a moment's silence to remember the profits we used to make."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

'Profit in the garbage.'

'I know what we need to turn this around, a mindless product that will make money fly out of peoples pocketbooks!'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'We care because we haven't made enough money not to.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

Business of Finger-pointing

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'In our press release, stress that our strategic focus will be on solving society's problems. This is code for making a bundle of money.'

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

Fat happy businessman with a euro coin printed on his chest

'Remember, the best things in life are free. Our job is to acquire them and sell them back to the public.'

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

'No point in looking for a silver lining - we've already sold off all mineral rights.'

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

"It's the only image capable of giving him the feels."

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

Spying Smart TV

Businessman on a Slippery Downward Slide.

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

'Right here is where we adopted the practice of price gouging.'