Job Market Detective Gifts

Economics: Job Crisis

'The Fed Chairman made it clear today that he'll do what ever it takes to get people back to work.'

"I'm afraid you may be overqualified for the shelf-stacking role."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

The Three Wise Queens

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Between Offices

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

The United States' economy deflating.

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.