Job Market Researcher Gifts

'If a job's worth doing, the Japanese have probably already doing it..'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

The Three Wise Queens

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

European currency on the edge.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Economy - USA.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Between Offices

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.