Modern Job Market Observer Gifts

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"I've never seen a resume that's entirely made up of emojis. Let me take a few moments to decode it."

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'