Employment Market Explorer Gifts

ApplicantsSupplicants.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

For sale

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

'Are you free at the moment?'