Job Hunting Explorer Gifts

'We're looking for someone with a killer instinct.'

Now Hiring

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Planned service changes

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

Now hiring.