Job Explorers Gifts

"I always wanted to be something. I only wish I'd been more specific."

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."