Employment Explorers Gifts

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

"Interviews are always stressful...this is his fourteenth....and they all turned him down!"

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'Are you free at the moment?'