Future Job Explorer Gifts

Careers advisor to schoolgirl: 'Have you considered becoming a kiss-and-tell slapper?'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

The 2024 Deepfake awards

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'