Future Job Explorer T-Shirts

Careers advisor to schoolgirl: 'Have you considered becoming a kiss-and-tell slapper?'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Ace headhunters.

Planned service changes

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

The 2024 Deepfake awards

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."