Career Explorer Gifts

"Do you ever wish you'd been an accountant?"

Need a little help with your career planning?

Ok class, these career path suggestions are based on the personality assessments you all took last week...

'So, you've no experience, no skills and a poor grasp of reality... Have you considered consulting?'

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Personnel: 'Next question, what was the reason for leaving your last job?' Reply: 'I got sick of being questioned about everything I did!'

Guidance Counselor - Hunting/Gathering.

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

"Why do we keep trying?""Because we need purpose..."

'I became a superhero to do something less challenging. I had wanted to be a doctor.'

"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."

"Even though you're exceptionally well qualified, Kate, I'd say that 'victim' is not a good career choice."

"Okay, okay, you don't have to be a teacher."

"It's just when you said you were a company director, I thought..."

"The nice thing about being a stem cell is that we can be anything we want when we grow up."

'No, an aptitude test is not a test on your cell phone apps knowledge.'

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

Today's lecture by Tom P. Malone, author of 'Finding Your True Calling In Life,' has been cancelled due to the author's realization that he'd rather be a fireman.

"...ten years at college must count for something."

Evolution looks like a good career move.

'I'm prepared to do something different as long as it offers me the same 364 days off a year.'

"I have to quit for health reasons. I'm sick of working here."

Careers advice centre

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

"It's a nightmare being a young person with a job - everyone keeps staring at me."

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

Lemonade cum laude

'The circus was okay, but the opportunities for personal growth were limited.'

"I love my job!"

"This resume is nothing but a list of the places where you've been caught begging."

'Actually, I haven't written it yet, I'm doing the promotional tour first, to see if being an author is the right career move for me!'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'