Future Job Seeker Gifts

'I was sort of nervous in there ??" do you think he'll hold it against me that I threw up on his desk?'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

In and Out Sourced.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Between Offices

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I don't like your application."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'