Career Seeking Gifts

"Being that there is a zillion job openings, I am hopeful of getting a job real quick!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

"I don't like your application."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

In and Out Sourced.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Between Offices

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'