Career Seeker Gifts

"errrm..I think I'll phone a friend."

'Your ad said you were looking for a people person.'

'What do I do now?'

'To be honest, I've never known for my work ethic.'

'Choose rich parents.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'Your resume is great - but I'm always suspicious when a good man is easy to find.'

"It's 'Take-your-thirty-something-year-old-kid-to-work-and-get-a-job' Day."

"This work experience thing has been a real insight into life after school…I've been made redundant."

"No! There are no openings for my job!"

"You want to become enlightened?"

"We don't have anything right now, but we'll put you on standby."

'What will I bring to the company? The fanatical commitment of sheer desperation!'

'...I'm now a veteran at looking for, but not finding, a job!'

'First off, there is no 'y' in resume.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

'First of all, what are the hours?'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

'How am I supposed to follow in your footsteps when you don't have any?'

'But it's career day... I'm supposed to take him to work.'

School Careers - "Have you considered the building trade, Simpson?"

"Your best bet, Ralph, is to win the lottery..."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Day one, post grad

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

How are you at decision making?

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'