Career Quester Gifts

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

Career Choices Made Easy

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Ace headhunters.

Planned service changes

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

Day one, post grad

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'