Job Seeker Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm sorry,but the only person Mr McCoy is looking to hire right now is a good criminal defense lawyer. But I'll be happy to pass your resume on to him.'

'I looked over your resume, and the good news is I like the paper it's typed on. Do you really want to know the bad news?'

'I'm looking over your resum?, there is one opening we have for you.'

"We're looking for someone exactly like you."

"Being that there is a zillion job openings, I am hopeful of getting a job real quick!"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

The Three Wise Queens

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

How are you at decision making?

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

In and Out Sourced.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"I don't like your application."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'