Job Search Enthusiast Gifts

"Why do I want this job? Because I'm really tired of filling out employmemt application forms!!"

'The paper just happened to fall open to the 'Position Wanted' section.'

'Sure, I'll hire you -- I could use a good tax loss this year.'

"I'm starting to worry about these motivational signs the boss is posting in my cubicle."

"Well I admire your forthrightness."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

The Three Wise Queens

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Ace headhunters.

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"After reviewing your resume, I don't think you should be teaching English - I think you should be study English."

'We want you to take the hindmost.'

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."