Job Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

'What have you been saying to him? He wants to be a careers master.'

Curse of the mutant gene.

Bob was apprehensive about his new job, but excited about the new directions it coudl take him in...

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

"I like my job. It keeps me alive."

"You say you love your job. Are you nuts?"

"So -what kind of work are you looking for?"

The Three Wise Queens

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

Over enthusiastic headhunter

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'