Job Market Adventurers Gifts

"I've always been extremely passionate about not starving to death."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

The Three Wise Queens

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'Are you free at the moment?'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"So, let me get this right. All the job involves is running around a track as fast as I can?"

"I'm just curious why you included a section in your resume that says 'The lost years...'"

At last he was ready to plug into online job search.

'Are you able to adapt to unusual situations?'

'I'm looking over your resum?, there is one opening we have for you.'

'I can only offer you a temporary position. You can start on Monday... If we are still open.'

'The good news is that I'm prepared to offer you a six figure annual salary. The bad news is that it includes the decimal.'

"Yes, I do have a lot of management experience, but I won't be able to manage on the kind of salary you're offering!"

"Hire me! Right now! Before the lightening pace of technology renders me obsolete!"

Employment Office.

'I lost my job at the farm, so I decided to try out nit-picking as a career...'

"Now tell me, what do you think you would bring to our company?"

'Define living wage...'

'We're looking for someone with a killer instinct.'

"I'd like to make $3.2 million a year, but I'll settle for $8 an hour."

"I always wanted to be something. I only wish I'd been more specific."

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

'My resume is on YouTube -- here's the URL.'