Job Market Adventurers Pillows

"I've always been extremely passionate about not starving to death."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

The Three Wise Queens

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'Are you free at the moment?'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

"I'm just curious why you included a section in your resume that says 'The lost years...'"

"So, let me get this right. All the job involves is running around a track as fast as I can?"

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

At last he was ready to plug into online job search.

'We're looking for someone with a killer instinct.'

'I can only offer you a temporary position. You can start on Monday... If we are still open.'

'I'm looking over your resum?, there is one opening we have for you.'

'The good news is that I'm prepared to offer you a six figure annual salary. The bad news is that it includes the decimal.'

'I lost my job at the farm, so I decided to try out nit-picking as a career...'

Employment Office.

'Define living wage...'

"Now tell me, what do you think you would bring to our company?"

"Hire me! Right now! Before the lightening pace of technology renders me obsolete!"

'Are you able to adapt to unusual situations?'

"Yes, I do have a lot of management experience, but I won't be able to manage on the kind of salary you're offering!"

"I'd like to make $3.2 million a year, but I'll settle for $8 an hour."

"I always wanted to be something. I only wish I'd been more specific."

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

Yeth, hello noodle factory?