Modern Job Market Observer Pillows

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

Now hiring.

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'