Job Market Explorer Pillows

"You'll work nights and the pay is garbage."

"The ad said you're looking for support staff. Could you be more specific?"

"This is so much more fun than reading CVs."

'And what makes you think you'll be good at planning ahead?'

"You're afraid I have unrealistic expectations? Funny. I was thinking the same thing about you."

"What sort of job are you after?" "I don't want a job. I want to be a consultant!"

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

'We've nothing for bomb disposal, tank driving or parachuting. How does cold calling PPI sound?'

'How are the job opportunities here tonight?'

'This job offer will self destruct in 30 seconds!'

"Isn't that the boy you fired last week? You must be pleased he another job so quick."

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

'I don't usually deal with headhunters on jobs that pay $21,500.'

'Hunting and gathering are 'old' economy- I'm going to be a middleman.'

"Hey, where's the gig, man?"

"See here in your ad, where it says 'eager beaver needed'?"

'Benny is a Jack-of-all-trades, and he's unemployed in all of them.'

'It's reality CV'

'OK Ms Jones, you're hired...Not!'

"Someday I'll even things up by getting a job where I'm totally underqualified."

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

'I reckon you'd make an excellent door-to-door salesman!'

'I want something that screams, 'I'll do anything for work'.'

'I'll need a bigger allowance now, Dad, or I'll have to get a job.'

'Your references and job qualifications are excellent. I notice, however, that you've never stayed with any one company for very long!'

Help Wanted...

"I like your style, the jobs yours, 'ere who you staring at?"

'I just came for a first interview, not to be fed to the lions.'

"The sucessful candidate will enjoy a challenge...."

'Come on, Bunny, I know you're in there....somewhere!'