Job Market Observer Gifts

"Personnel have downgraded the new job sec fro 'must be qualified with six years experience' to 'must be alive." "Still seems a lot to ask for the money."

'No experience necessary. We'll train you!'

"That's not how we go about filling a C.E.O. position."

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

'But in your CV you didn't say what sort of disability you have, Mr Clamphorne.'

Summa Cum Laude Graduate. Overqualified for every job I applied for.

"As a matter of fact my Ph.D. is in entry-level jobs."

"You can have your old job back if you can find where we outsourced it."

'...It's all about jobs!'

"Don't look so smug - you only got the job because we can't be seen to be discriminating against the living."

"Where are we going to find people willing to work old hours for a little extra money..."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

"Great! Another contribution to the man shortage."

"When they merged the hunting and gathering divisions, I was pushed out."

"Aren't you the guy who left my company to find a better job?"

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Your resume is nothing but a pack of lies...you're hired."

The LBO of the US

Town Hall Meeting.

Man being beaten up holds a 'Help Wanted' sign.

'Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I lose my job at the Petting Zoo.'

'Congratulations, you got the job.'

'Job losses' map with one loss at a light house

'We're letting you go, Harlow.. But we'd like to buy book and movie rights to your work record..'

Sign that it's an employer's job market.

Unemployed gigolo...

'Thanks for the job offer, sir, but I'd better stick with what I'm good at.'

I hear you people are desperate for an accountant.

Your scholastic record is impressive, however, in our experience, valedictorians don't make good yes-men.

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"