Job Market Analysts Gifts

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

"We demand so many non-compete agreements, you'll have to find work on Mars if you quit us."

"The great resignation is being fueled by the desire to brag about quitting one's job on LinkedIn."

Welcome to our town - a great place to live ,work and be outplaced.

'Apart from skills, talent, qualifications, good looks, good health, ambitious drive and willingness to work for free, what else do you bring to the table?'

"Hello ma'am, I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door..."

Employment Bureau: Closed Due to Staff Shortages

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

Ecopolicy.

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

"You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome abroad, Barnes."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Between Offices

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

'Are you free at the moment?'