Job Market Insights Gifts

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

The Three Wise Queens

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

Between Offices

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

For sale

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'