Job Market Trends Gifts

"I'm lookin' for a couple of fast guns who ain't afraid to lay down their life. There's no pay, but it'll be a great way to get your name out there."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

'The destiny of untrained seals'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Made in China

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'The recession is over, again.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"Everything's gone up."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

Dolestart - A New Initiative

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Business Outlook

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

Now hiring.

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."