Employment Trend Watcher Gifts

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The recession is over, again.'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

The Decline of the Euro.

#notblessed

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

"That's not how we go about filling a C.E.O. position."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Remarkable, but I'd feel so much better about it if we knew what the hell we're doing right."

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

'Bandwagon Marketing & Advertising... Specializing in political candidates.'

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."