Employment Trends Gifts

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Human Resources: Due to Drones, Driverless cars, and Apps, we are not now hiring human beings...

What sort of job are you after?

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

"We have very little need these days to employ a cudgel."

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'These days I spend most of the time trying to find a job myself.'

Then - 'Employee of the month' Now - 'An employee for a month? certainly, sir'

Just Another Brick In The Wall, temporary workers.

'Listen up everybody...as of today You are all 'TEMPS' ..in two weeks, you will ALL be OUTSOURCED'

Out

Redundancies

"It wasn't long ago jobs were plentiful. I had three myself."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Outer Space Outsourcing

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Made in China

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"Everything's gone up."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."