Recent Unemployment Gifts

'Yes, I am unemployed, but I prefer the term, 'Stay At Home Dad'.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"We pay the living dead wage."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

Redundancies