Unemployment Underdog Gifts

'Congratulations graduates. We are here to help with your resume preparation and unemployment insurance applications.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

'Your prowess as a mouser got you this job. You're needed in the break area right away.'

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

'Management is very concerned about 'work life' balance, particularly where back room staff are concerned...We think you give too much, you need to get your lives back.'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

America's Biggest Export...

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

Social security.

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"I know you need some certainty in your job, so you're fired."