Dealing With Unemployment Gifts

'The plant may be closed, but Frank appears to be at 100 capacity utilization.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

'Management is very concerned about 'work life' balance, particularly where back room staff are concerned...We think you give too much, you need to get your lives back.'

America's Biggest Export...

Social security.

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

'Believe me, mister... I'm an old hand in capital procurement!'

"I know you need some certainty in your job, so you're fired."

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

Cards Galore.