Dealing With Unemployment Benefits Gifts

The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible,but only under certain limited, clearly defined circumstances.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

America's Biggest Export...

Social security.

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

Disgruntled former employees

"Right now, I'm between naps."

'Since bottom line growth has been so robust, big business wants to thank you all in advance for not applying with them.'

The job carries 'salary but no health cover' or 'health cover but no salary.'

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'Lost my job, house repossessed, but at least I've still got you.'

'Oh, I'm unemployed -- but it's not as exciting as it sounds.'

"I was laid off FROM the unemployment office."

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

Inflate a job!

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."

Unemployment Math

"My wife thinks I'm out looking for a job..."

corporate scapegoat to sacrifical lamb