Unemployment Specialist Gifts

"So, how's the slag heap treating you?"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

Nothing to Lose

America's Biggest Export...

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

Disgruntled former employees

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"There appears to be some discrepancies between your C.V. and your Wikipedia entry."

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"What made this guy stand out?" "He applied."

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

'I'm a redundant bank teller.'

'I need a hug. I was laid off at the fish factory.'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!