Unemployment Specialist Gifts

"So, how's the slag heap treating you?"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

America's Biggest Export...

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

Disgruntled former employees

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"There appears to be some discrepancies between your C.V. and your Wikipedia entry."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"What made this guy stand out?" "He applied."

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

'I'm a redundant bank teller.'

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'I need a hug. I was laid off at the fish factory.'

'All equality acts are created equal but some are more equal than others.'