Unemployment Officer Gifts

'Really, Mr. Claus, you can't work one night a year then expect to qualify for unemployment benefits.'

'You have reached a non-working number at the State Unemployment Office.'

"I'll be frank - we offered it to Mario Cuomo first, but he turned it down."

Disgruntled former employees

"There is no work right now. Everyone says to apply again next November."

Unemployment Office. I thought sine the universe is expanding, astronomy would be a growing field.

"Sure, the economy's good for you. YOU have a job!!!"

Unemployment office: 'The reward money I got for turning in my husband ran out- do I qualify?'

"I'm not convinced that you are actively seeking work."

'I was working on little Billy's ant-farm, but lately, he's been more interested in computer games...'

'You were an author? What book did you write?'

"But on the bright side, this place has a thriving economy and a 0% unemployment rate."

"Your job is gone and never coming back. Now your unemployment benefits are gone and never coming back."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

Dolestart - A New Initiative

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

America's Biggest Export...

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.