Employment Trends Buff Gifts

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Final words on gravestones.

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

Your position has been outsourced, Blue bottle...if you wish to continue working for us...may I suggest relocating and taking a 600 pay cut.

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

"I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake. I just came out of hibernation."

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

Economic Prosperity

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

Redundancies

"Any sign of recovery yet?"

Worldcom falling on Atlas.

"Just keep cranking 'em out until we have parity with the old franc!"

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

'Media stocks rose on news that Warren Buffett, a real smart feller, brought the Omaha World-Herald.'

"We're being accused of talking down the economy...I want the idea looked at on pages 1,3,6 and 7 with a colour spread in the supplement."

"I'm lookin' for a couple of fast guns who ain't afraid to lay down their life. There's no pay, but it'll be a great way to get your name out there."

'Yes, I am unemployed, but I prefer the term, 'Stay At Home Dad'.'

ApplicantsSupplicants.

Despite recent uncertainty, analysts said today they will continue to make predictions.

"One day this will all be outsourced."