Job Market Buff Gifts

"I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake. I just came out of hibernation."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

The Three Wise Queens

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

How are you at decision making?

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'I'm sorry, but you have a very impressive resume, and at this company, we find competence threatening.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

Now hiring.

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."