Career Development Buff Gifts

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'Perhaps you can explain how you got your degree from wikipedia.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"Staff support"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Reach for the Star.

International Women's Day.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'