Job Buff Gifts

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"What's a debenture?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

I'm a self-made man!

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

E.U. Banking Union.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

Robots In The Boardroom

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'