Job Application Buff Gifts

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"What's a debenture?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

I'm a self-made man!

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.