Job Interview Buff Gifts

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Do you have any other skills?

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"