Interview Buff Gifts

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"If you think the first part of our psychological test was intrusive, wait until you meet my mother."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

If nobody had invented graphics

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

The Plasmas.

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"Why don't we call you 'Deeper Throat'?"

Micro and Macro Department,

"I like to keep things simple."

Whatever works for you.

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

"I'm Robo, your evening news anchorbot..."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS