Interview Buff Pillows

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"If you think the first part of our psychological test was intrusive, wait until you meet my mother."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

If nobody had invented graphics

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

Stephen Fry

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Why don't we call you 'Deeper Throat'?"

Celebrity Gavin Henson

"Hello, editorial? This the comics department. One of your articles is leaking on us down here!"

The Plasmas.

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Micro and Macro Department,

"I like to keep things simple."

Whatever works for you.

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

Election Report. The political debates and huge ratings. "Dancing Around the Issues" topped "Dancing with the Stars"!

"I'm Robo, your evening news anchorbot..."

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

"Check this wall for fingerprints."