Job Interview Buff Pillows

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"What do you have to offer if I decide to host you in my gastrointestinal tract?"

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

Do you have any other skills?

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."