Quiz Show Buff Gifts

And that's why I'm still single!

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

The Golfing Accident

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."